My suspicion that purging has everything to do with my state of mind has been undeniably confirmed this evening. *sigh* Today was one of those days when there is more to be done than time to do it in. In cases like this, I shrug my shoulders, do what I can, and know the remainder of the work will patiently wait for me. I did get the yard mowed, which makes me very happy ( I love to mow, and I love when my grass is short and tidy). Our yard is quite large -- approximately a half acre -- and most of it is grass. I am working on changing that gradually. This year I added a perennial bed out front and two raised beds in the back. I plan to add six more raised beds by next spring, so I can grow colossal amounts of vegetables!!!
Anyway...back to the state of mind line of thought. We had dinner out tonight in honor of my daughter's 19th birthday. By the time we got home it was 10:00 p.m., and the last thing I wanted to do was scrounge five items to purge. I was able to justify keeping every item I considered, and I was getting cranky with myself. It's only day two and already I am losing the battle. So I stopped my half-hearted attempts and thought about why tonight the selection process seemed so difficult. It didn't take long to figure out that fatigue, the late night, and general laziness on my part were working against the greater good of my project. At this realization I marched myself back over to my bookcase and began perusing my teaching books with a more critical eye and honest heart.
Books are especially difficult for me to part with -- I love having overflowing bookcases -- books are security, intelligence, learning, and passion -- as long as I have books, I have access to these ideas. I always think to myself I should get rid of that book, I haven't touched it since I was in grad school! And then the other voice pipes up you should keep that book because it is a valuable resource and during your teaching career you never know when you might need to reference it. Reality check time...I can count the number of times I have gone back to my teaching books on one hand and have fingers left over.
So, I chose the least current, least relevant to my content area, and least read during my schooling. Voila! I had five books in less than five minutes :)
Purging is an intensely mental and emotional experience which can cause physical discomfort as well. The intensity of feeling causes me to wonder how I got to this place, how material things became so important, and how I might lessen their hold on me.
Good night and thanks for reading :)